I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
