Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
