She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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