i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
