We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
