Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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