the new term for farting is butt boxing.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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