Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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