I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
