Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
