Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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