nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
