My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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