that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
