I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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