im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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