Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
