Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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