no. you can't hotbox the world.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
