You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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