I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
