You made me cry and you don't even care
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
