You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
