he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
