we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
PANTIES FOUND
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