he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
