She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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