I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
All I want is dick and wine.
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