Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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