theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
