goodnight i made you a song goodbye
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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