We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
They took my balls.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
