doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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