I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
