I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
