Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
