I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
