He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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