Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
