Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
