i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i wish my penis had a tongue
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
