so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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