I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
