You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
