If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize