if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
