Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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