O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He kissed a someone with a penis
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
