Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
