if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
