The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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