He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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