I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
