Fine. I'll sleep in my office
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
