so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize