I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
